I have several female friends who are models or aspiring models. Why is it that they seem to be the ones who have the least self-esteem about their own bodies? A lot of people are insecure about their own bodies, but these models seem to be the least secure of all. You might be tempted to answer that the lack of confidence is what inspired them to model in the first place – so they could feel better about themselves. But I don’t know if I buy that. Or at least I don’t get it.
I mean, if I thought I was a horrible musician, I wouldn’t be making music as much as I do. So I would think that if I hated my body so much, I wouldn’t want to model. Yes, there are times I am critical of my musical skills. And I do want to push myself and do better. But I don’t constantly obsess with how much I suck and let that consume me. For the most part, I think I’m good. I don’t claim to be amazing or the best, but I do think I’m decent at it. If I wasn’t confident about it, I wouldn’t be doing it. These friends of mine constantly talk about their bodies in a negative way and it’s not just when a shoot is looming near. So why would they want to show off their “embarrassing” bodies to lots of people? They certainly aren’t making lots of money doing it right now, so that’s not the reason.
I could even understand if these were “accidental models”. What I mean is that most actual famous models in the past didn’t aspire to be models. They were just so physically beautiful that they were discovered randomly. Or they were busy doing other things in the entertainment industry but kept getting offered modeling gigs so they accepted. They didn’t plan on that happening. But the models I’m referring to weren’t accidental models. They planned on this.
It’s not just my friends who are like this. There are other models I don’t know personally who have stated how much they hated their bodies. I thought they were just trying too hard to seem humble. But then I saw this talk show episode that focused on body dysmorphic disorder. I think it was on Oprah. And one of the people on there was actually a good looking model. Why in the hell did she decide to be a model? It’s not that she got the disorder after she became a model because of all the pressures the industry put on her. She had the disorder before she was a model and still has it. And my friends who hate their bodies didn’t like them before they were models and then started hating them after that. They seemed to always be like that. So I wouldn’t just blame the messed up standard of beauty the modeling industry has on this.
And on a related note, why is it that the girls who barely weight 100 pounds always complain to me that they are so fat? I weigh a lot more than they do. So when they are saying they are fat, they are also insulting me and telling me that I am morbidly obese (according to their standards).
I’m not saying I think I’m morbidly obese. But that’s the message they are sending. You don’t go to someone who weighs more than you do and tell them you think you’re fat. It’s the same way I wouldn’t go up to someone who had a lot less money than I do and complain about how I’m such a loser for being broke. Or I wouldn’t tell someone who scored an 800 on their SATs how I only got a 1460 and that people who don’t break 1500 are idiots. (I didn’t actually get 1460, I’m just saying).
I know sometimes we all say things to people we shouldn’t. It’s an accident. And we realize it after the fact and stop doing it. I’ve caught myself whining about stuff to people who were less fortunate than myself and I felt guilty about it after the fact and made sure I stopped doing it.
But these females complain to me all time, not just once and then stop it because they realize they are being jerks for saying it. I mean, I’ve even said “Well, if you’re fat, then I need gastric bypass”. But they still continue to complain about themselves.
P.S. – To any of my model friends who are reading this and this happens to apply to, please don’t think I am singling you out. This isn’t just about you, this is about several of my model friends.
CherryTeresa 